"Random Story Entailing Weird Habits" #214

Sometimes, when you're working out in the yard, you don't want to wear your normal shoes because they'll get grossed up by your yard work. I remember learning this the hard way when I was a young'n with new, white basketball sneakers that had - after mowing the lawn - turned a brilliant shade of emerald green. From that day forth (or when I didn't forget, at least) I always wore a pair of "yard shoes" to do my horticultural bidding. They were usually the last pair of shoes I'd owned - flimsy messes of synthetic leather, foam soles, and ragged laces with no more purpose than to shield my feet from the forces of nature.

Here's where the weird fact comes in. I've always obsessively checked my yard shoes for spiders. It all started when I watched on of those those "dangerous creatures" shows as a kid (like you might find on the discovery channel.) On this show, a woman put on her gardening shoes and was bitten on the toe by a black widow that had hidden inside. She talked about how painful it was and that she went to the hospital but LOST HER TOE! It even showed her foot there with only FOUR TOES!!! I must have been 12 and just stared at the TV in horror. Little Barry, standing there, mouth agape. I was instantly scarred. For the longest time I couldn't put on any shoes without checking for spiders. I'd have my freakin church shoes, in a box, brand new, and I'd think to myself "I dunno, Barry, some spider could have snuck in there during shipping... Let's just check to make sure."

Today, I'm not as obsessive / freaked out. I only check for spiders when I put on my yard shoes, but that's because they sit in a box in the garage where, if I were a spider, I'd certainly want to cozy up in a nice, warm shoe.

And I like my toes. Gotta look out for them.

-Barry